Thursday, December 20, 2007

Yo, nothing fun here. Just another day, doing daily things in a dayish sort of manner. I did happen to read the Eye of Argon, though... and no, I'm not going to provide you with a link. It's described as being the worst fantasy novella ever written, and it really does deserve such a status. Here, I'll give you a little taste.

"Grignr's emerald green orbs glared lustfully at the wallowing soldier struggling before his chestnut swirled mount. His scowling voice reverberated over the dying form in a tone of mocking mirth. "You city bred dogs should learn not to antagonize your better." Reining his weary mount ahead, grignr resumed his journey to the Noregolian city of Gorzam, hoping to discover wine, women, and adventure to boil the wild blood coarsing through his savage veins."

Selected at random from the first chapter. On display: a hero named "Grignr", an unnecessary avoidance of the word "eyes" and "horse", senselessly used adjectives ("scowling voice?"), badly used cliches, and a whole lot of suck. And this was selected at random; it gets worse. If nothing else, the titular "Eye of Argon" is the name of an emerald. A huge, oblong, scarlet emerald. No, really. In this particular world, Emeralds also come in red.

Oh, hell. Here you go.


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