LIFE OF CRIME!

To-day, I got fingerprinted. Part of the background check process for my forthcoming employment. I've never been fingerprinted before, but I had a vague idea that it involved ink pads and such, the pressing of thumbs into them and then applying said thumbs to bits of paper seems de rigeur for the sort of police procedural I have a vague awareness of (due mainly to the American Cultural Subconscious).

Well! If such inky business is still done at the coppery, it is NOT the sort background checkers use to obtain their wares. Instead, a hefty bearded man grabbed me forcibly by the fingers and made me use what looked for all the world like a two-inch by two-inch photocopier. For serious. Transparent sheet with a light moving by underneath it... the works. How they came by a device of such sensitivity that it only detected the wee ridges of my fingers which were actually contacting the screen (and not the bits an infinitesimal fraction of a millimeter above) I'll never know. Still, it wasn't altogether unpleasant, just an interesting foray into the depth of modern crime-stopping.

O'course, all I have on my record is a pair of moving violations, and that one time I was caught with that goat. You know, breaking into Fort Knox. Old Dixie and I, in a daring daylight cross-species robbery attempt, gone horribly, horribly awry.